Plans

The first 4 days of the boy's life were spent like this:

C-Section

Pumping every 3 hours

Boys using shields

Also nursing

Finger feeding

Switching back and forth between formula (hospital forced us) and breast milk

Then they were in the NICU

They had NG tubes for a bit

Then we were doing some bottles

Then I was tandem feeding them in the NICU with wires everywhere

Christian on oxygen and a flow of air

Then Camden came home

And I either took him with me to tandem feed at the hospital

Or I fed him and then ran to the hospital to nurse Christian

Or we bottle fed Christian and then ran home to nurse Camden

Then they were both home

I tandem fed every 2-3 hours around the clock

And also pumped several times

Dealing with Camden's reflux and excessive puking and him being tongue tied and still using a shield

Then we got rid of the shields

Then I started nursing them separately

(Does that exhaust you after reading it? I'm the one who did it, and just reading it exhausts me all over again!)

Which bring us to where we are now, 4 1/2 months in.

I will tell you that my biggest fear with twins was the breastfeeding thing.
I will tell you I wanted to give up every day. It was the most physically and emotionally exhausting thing I have ever done. And even without all their issues, it would have been difficult.

But I pressed on, and deep down I hoped to make it to a year.

But not all things go according to plan. And in my experience, my plan is a waste of time.

The boys started formula two days ago. I continue to pump what I can and breastfeed for any "middle of the night" feedings...but I worked with my lactation consultant and pediatrician, and even still...things were drying up. I am producing enough for one baby, but not two.

I will say this.

I am extremely proud of myself.
For making it this far with all we have dealt with.

And I am thankful there is something else to feed them.

I'm so glad I stuck with it.

That said...they don't like the formula. But who can blame them!? They aren't eating as much and they are puking a ton now. Sigh. I have no clue what to do about that.

 I have no idea how this is going to work into the budget, but we are praying and trusting.

Like I said, my plans are just plans and they usually don't work out.

But I can say, that I am oh so glad about that. Because I would have missed out on a lot of amazing things had my plans gone the way I ....well, planned ;)

I love my little boogers.

"My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,' says the Lord.
'For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9