While we watched the boys play in the creek I asked him. I asked him not because I was unsure of his answer but because sometimes hearing it spoken out into the world, giving it breath- makes it even more true. Makes it something you can almost grab on too when you’re still a little unsteady on your feet. “Would you still have asked me 20 years ago?”Knowing what you know now. If you knew then that I’d be diagnosed with two cancers during a pandemic and that you’d have to watch me endure and suffer through it all- not what the outside world and social media saw- but the real behind the scenes ugliness of cancer. While being my caretaker and pulling my weight in the parenting department for all those months. Would you still ask me even if you knew I’d change and morph inside and outside from the trauma of it all? We can never know what lies ahead. How those “in sickness and in health” vows might be tested and if our promises will be able to bear the weight of the deep waters we will wade. But every day we say yes. Yes to the good and the bad- an every day choice to choose the yes again and again. And so I know it’s “yes” because it’s always only ever been yes. And standing there today with our three boys - with us where we said our first of many yeses…well it was a little bit magical.
(Here are some pics from July 2002 and 2022 July)
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