A Letter to Myself

Dear Krystle,

You are feeling like this job far outreaches your qualifications. I can see it in your face, at the end of the day when the little feet are all tucked in and you sit and exhale for the first time since you woke up. You are in constant motion, cleaning and fixing, kissing boo-boos and breaking up squabbles, wiping noses and cheeks and changing diapers. You eat after they do, and you usually do it standing and you wonder if you will ever eat a hot meal at the table again.

The boys, they are small and they demand your constant energy and attention and I see in your eyes that you feel like you fail them. You are feeling like you are just surviving and just getting by, each day repeats itself and the walls seem close.

You are wondering if you are making a difference, if you are up to this task.

And you are. Oh, you are indeed. God placed these precious babes in your hands, and not in another’s.  

Each day, they wake up and their grins go from ear to ear when they see you. They call for you, they cling to you. You are their Mommy. You get to capture each moment of their lives in your memory and they see you giving and serving and fixing and kissing and cleaning. They come to you for their food, their drinks, and their books.

You are too hard on yourself. Who do you need to compare yourself to? HE is all that matters. Look to HIM for your patience and relief. If your house isn’t in perfect order and you missed your shower today, life will go on.

Stay on your knees, seeking HIM for your answers, on how to handle the tantrums and the attitude. Seek HIM when you need direction with discipline, not anyone else. Pray for wisdom at each moment of each day and when you feel breathless and overwhelmed, stop and before you breathe out….whisper to HIM your needs and HE has promised to be faithful and supply to you all you need.

These days will never repeat, each day is its own.  Take each moment as it comes, and don’t rush it. Someday soon they won’t need you to dress them, or cut up their hot dogs and bananas. Someday before you even realize it…they will be grown and you will miss the tears that you captured with your shoulder. You will. The noise, the bustle and chaos that is dinnertime will be missed when they are grown and gone.

 So cherish it, even the noise.

 You were meant for this, and for THEM. Nobody else was. Nobody will ever be able to care for them the way you, THEIR Mommy does.

Give yourself patience, grace, and compassion….just as you do for them. Take a deep breath and realize you are making a difference in these boys’ lives.  Kiss, hug, and wipe noses, tickle, chase, feed, clothe, love.

You are the MOMMY, and you are a great one.  

~ Love and hugs~ ME

Linking up with Rachel (you should write your own and link up too!)