Hair is hair is hair is hair

I’m not losing my hair. I was told I most likely wouldn’t, perhaps it would get thin and I’d lose some but not enough to shave it. My short rockin’ haircut works perfect for it as I can get a lot more body in it to cover up anything if I end up needing to.

BUT one thing I didn’t think about was how I’d look in a hat. I love beanies especially during fall and winter. With the crazy side effect from the Oxiliplatin- I am going to need to bundle up even more. Unfortunately I look bald when I wear a beanie.

Here me out. A lot if people with short hair wear beanies - they look great! A lot of cancer patients rock bald heads and headscarves and hats and beanies- they look great! 

But I don’t like it. I can pass for someone not going through chemo on most days (unless I’m wearing my pump)  I don’t “look sick” even though I very much am and if you saw me at home you’d know it. But the moment I put on a beanie I feel like I look like I’m sick. I see in the mirror a cancer patient and I don’t like it. That’s just me and it doesn’t mean anyone else is wrong or that I’m wrong- it is just my truth and reality.

So I spent a whopping $25 on Amazon on a wig attached to a beanie and decided to have some fun with it because- why the heck not?! And guess what.... I LOVE it! It’s fun, it looks real, it feels amazing and I got to go back to the days where I was blonde and it’s super long and wavy.  So I got another one that is more auburn and I cut it to my shoulders. 

This is Autumn

(Also my shirt says Straight Outta Chemo which I put on every day I come home from infusion) 

This is Goldilocks 

Yeah I named my girls just like Moira from Schitt’s Creek.

When you’re fighting cancer- you look for all the ways to bring yourself some joy and self care. 

Another one is one it’s way to me- this time, no beanie. I’m already thinking of names.....