Guest Blogger! Pam from It's Time for More Coffee

I am so excited to introduce you to Pam! Pam is a Mom of six. Four boys and then...surprise! Twin girls :) 
She is also a Pastor's Wife and was one of the most encouraging people for me during my pregnancy with the twins and especially for breastfeeding and getting out with the kiddos early and often!

She offers great insight as a Mom, a wife and a Mom of twins. Her blog is full of inspiration, encouragement, funnies, giveaways and reviews. I would love for you to add her to your blogroll.
She always responds to comments and e-mails and goes out of her way to make you feel like a real-life friend!


Welcome Pam!

"What I've Learned From Being a Mom To Twins"

Contrary to what strangers tell you in the grocery store, not many moms of multiples always "wished" that they would have twins. As a matter of fact, I think I told a stranger that very thing when I was at my wits end in the cereal aisle with two screaming infants. 

"Who in their right mind would ASK to be sick for the entire 38 weeks of pregnancy, be stretched beyond comprehension, fear for one or both babies health for months and then have two squalling infants to care for...who would WANT THIS?"

No, my friends, I never asked for twins. I can't imagine asking for twins. And yet, when I stare at my two beautiful daughters, I am still in awe at the absolute miracles God created. God's plan, once again is better than mine.

So, one of the first lessons my twins taught me was humility. There are a lot of things I can try and take credit for...but these girls...these miracles, they are all God. He knew just what we needed in our family of boys. He knew that with an age gap of six years between them and the closest sibling that one baby, especially one little girl, would be lonely...and spoiled. And so God gave me not what I asked for, but what I needed. And that, my friends, is humbling.

My girls also taught me how very little control I really have. I spent 10 weeks on modified bed-rest. I could get out of bed, I could leave the house, but I was supposed to spent 90% of my day off my feet. This meant that I had to quit my job (which paid for my sons' private school education), I had to let things slide around the house, and I became increasingly dependent first on my family to help out, and eventually dependent on friends and church members to help me out.  It was hard to let go of the shopping and the meal planning. It was even hard to let go of the laundry (and I hate laundry). I felt very self conscious, like people were viewing me as lazy. But then I learned a lesson. People really do want to reach out and help each other...but we have to let our friends in. Sometimes we need to admit that we need help. I had reached the age of 37 without really knowing how to ask for help, but finally, my twins taught me to unabashedly admit that I need help.

My twins taught me to curb my jealousy. We're a family of 8...with no TLC show. I brought my twins home form the hospital with very little fanfare. Friends and neighbors brought food and gifts, but there was no family spending days, weeks, months with me to make sure that I was still caring for myself. My husband is a pastor, and at the time the girls were born, his church was in crisis, so he was very busy with that. That left me...alone with two babies, tired, and maybe a little depressed. And then I see other families where one baby is born and people swooping in to help and rocking a baby while mom sleeps, and doing her laundry, and doing all kinds of things. And then I remember all of the wonderful things that were done for us...the friends who painted a red room pink while I was at the hospital, the many people praying for us, the friend who sent her cleaning lady to my house the day before my induction so I could come home to a clean house. I learned that every situation is so different. I learned to let go of my jealousy and focus on my blessings. 

I learned how easy I had it as a twin mom. Having already raised 4 singletons past toddler-hood, I was hardly a rookie. The girls nursed easily and well.  They slept terribly, but so had my sons. I learned that my years of multitasking with the boys was preparing me for the juggling I would do with the girls.

Now the girls are two. They are sweet and cuddly, and very, very demanding. They fight, they are willful, and they act like two year olds. Once again, it is hard to take them both out on my own. So they are teaching me patience. I have the perspective to know that this will eventually pass, but I also have the wisdom to know that every outing has the potential for disaster. I'm spending a lot more time at home these days...and so, the twins are teaching me the joys of homemaking. All of this time at home is giving me time to organize and clean!

So no, I would have never asked for twins. I cannot imagine wishing or hoping or praying for another pair. But the truth is this, my life has forever been changed by these two little girls. My body will never be the same, but neither will my soul, my inner being, that has been honed, refined, and made stronger thanks to these unasked for blessing

If you liked this, let me know and go visit Pam too!

You can find Pam here:

Twitter

Wordpress

Facebook

RSS